So for the last 3 weeks or so I have tried working at a pharmaceutical manufacturer in my area. Aspergers has not been kind to me - I’m scared to show up now, to anxious to sleep because I have had already a meltdown on the floor which involved me crying, and I feel so out of place.
My co-workers and Line Coordinator are very supportive - and yes the know I’m autistic. My boss knows as well, but its getting to the point of where I can’t get my work done. I can’t sleep because I’m so worried that I will mess up the next night - and I have been a complete mess.
On top of that I have had someone tamper with my car on a regular basis, to the point where it was not functional which caused me to be late to work. I’m supposed to be in work right now, but I called in because I’m so freaking stressed out.
6 Comments until now
Think about your qualities and what you can offer to the job, don’t worry about the social challenges, or messing up when you go in (truth is everyone messes up at some point). Take it one day at a time, one project at a time. Sometimes when anxiety is too much to deal with and stops us from Living, it is a good idea to talk to a pro about it and perhaps learn some relaxation techniques and for some people a little medication can also be helpful. Whatever you need to help you function better and improve your quality of life is important. It’s wonderful that you have people that support you there. That’s hard to accomplish sometimes. As far as your car, you should file a police report about it. You can do it :o)
Are you working full-time? Maybe a phased introduction to the Nightmare of Work, say starting at 2hours a day, and working-up to a full-day? Don’t be disheartened; starting a new job even for a well ajusted NT can be hard. And most importantly: Don’t give up trying! Best Wishes, Socrates.
Zach, hang in there. Your employers no doubt expect you to make some mistakes in the first week on a new job. And while your supervisors may know you are autistic, they may not understand at all what this means. Since they seem reasonably supportive, would it help to give them more specific information about what things are difficult for you, how you process information best, etc?
Most likely no one is judging you as harshly as you judge yourself. I don’t know what to say here that would be helpful to you. I just wanted to offer a word of encouragement. I believe in you and I wish you well.
I meant weeks. Not week. Oops.
Don’t worry about messing up. Try this technique I have for things that stress me out so much that I feel the way you did. When I’m in school, I imagine putting the stress factor in a box and putting it in a closet. Then it stays in the closet until school is over. Then, when I’m on the bus, I take it out of the closet and talk about it to a friend. Usually, the friend will help me calm down, so I am stress-free for most of that day.
A favourite method of mine is as I go out of the door in the morning I imagine I’m leaving behind all my fears and doubts there so as soon as I lock the door they don’t exist anymore. It has calmed me over the years. I also do the same when I leave work especially on stressful days.
Add your Comment!