BUT….

At it’s simplist, suicide is a direct enactment of “Thou Shalt not Kill”
Unlike other sins, because suicide is terminal, there can be no asking for forgiveness once the deed is done.

I know you’re a religious person, so I’ll put it to you in your own terms. God gives you the greatest gift of all, life. It doesn’t make sense to “throw it back in his face”.

Then there’s your personal reasons. They’re not good enough. You don’t qualify as a martyr. There’s hundreds of saints before you who have suffered more greatly. Suicide under the current conditions is acceptance. It is “losing”, it is letting the forces of evil win. You want to be a Christian, you need to fight like one.

Finally, and most importantly of all, there’s Katelyn and the baby. They need you. To opt out on them at this point is the same as running out of their lives because of your own selfish interests. They need your support. Don’t run away.

First of all, there’s no law of the universe that says people have to love you. If you think it’s absolutely necessary that someone loves you, you simply have a false belief.

Second, the only plausibly rational justification for suicide is constant physical pain. Psychological pain – nope, I don’t think so. It typically goes away with time. You can deal with it in various ways. You can take medication if need be. A lot of times it’s enough to think more clearly in ways that are not so self-defeating. Have you talked to a professional?

Basically, if you think suicide is a good option, I don’t think you’ve thought it through very well, and you’re not well informed about your options.

It’s just, at the risk of sounding harsh, you have to face up to things and hopefully they will start to get better. Death means the end, but being alive means, well, hope.

Secondly, suicide is pretty darn permanent. Once you’re dead, there’s no going back. I realize right now you don’t see an end to your pain while remaining on this earth, but you have more hope of things getting better in this life while you’re alive, than if you were dead. If there’s a chance for things to get better that you may not see right now, you’ll lose that chance if you end your life.

Finally, I’ve gathered from reading this blog that you’re a Christian, so I’m going to offer a theological perspective. We are told in the Ten Commandments not to commit murder, and, while I’ve yet to read a Bible passage that specifically says suicide is murder, since we are created by God, I think it would be safe to infer that suicide would be the murder of oneself, and therefore something we should not do — basically a sin, as is murder. Now would it go unforgiven? I know there’s debate on that issue, but personally I believe that once someone has received salvation through Christ, all sins will be forgiven, and I believe suicide would also be covered. That doesn’t mean we should do it though. Our lives were given to us by God, and I believe that we should leave the decision up to God as to when and how we leave this earth.

I also believe that God has the power, and the love for you, to give you peace in your circumstances. If you haven’t already done so, I would suggest that you take your broken heart to God and tell Him that you’re in total despair, don’t see an end in sight to this mess, and ask Him to take the driver’s seat. I believe that God can and will help you and give you peace, if you ask.

I understand from reading your blog that you’re not getting much if any support from your church, which is a shame. Is there another church you could go to, or a trusted Christian friend that you can talk to?

I sort of went on for a while, and hope I’ve helped in answering your question. Continued prayers for you, Kate, and your soon-to-be daughter.

Plus folks do care. I do… I feel rather worried…

Plus if you are gone, the hope goes too. the possibility of things getting better also goes.

I’m sorry if I’m a little harsh this evening. My brother is stationed at Fort Hood durring the shooting, and I am thinking about the gift that life is, and those who lost their lives so sensiously. THankfully he was ok.

BVut still, I can’t get over this feeling that it could have been him! Sorry to vent. I’m still shocked. I don’t know what to do.

Do you really want to do that to them?

And if you kill yourself, speaking (myself) as the daughter of a suicide, your daughter will probably not have any good thoughts about you ever again. She won’t buy that you did it for her. I know I didn’t.

But if you live, you give her hope that someday she may find you and discover she that she loves you and is proud to be your daughter. Because you didn’t give up.

But if you kill yourself, it means you wasted your life in the most selfish and flippant way. It means you buried your spirit and gifts and uniqueness under a few feet of mud.

Where is the glory and virtue in that?

And worst of all, no matter how bad things get, they ALWAYS get better. I am speaking as someone who grew up in poverty, was beaten by gangs, and was abused by my family.

I don’t know about you, but I have made a pledge to not miss a second of the good times. Every single good moment was worth the bad ones.

And personally, I will not let those who hurt me win. EVER. I swore I would outlast them, and I have. Now I am over half a century old and having a good life — finally!

Listen, if you REALLY want to die, make it at least count for something. There are plenty of good causes to die for. Pick one and help people. Go to Chile, Argentina, Israel, Sudan and feed someone or fight for their right to live well and NOT be a slave or a target.

No one admires anyone for throwing their meaningless sorry life away. Ever.

That’s why.

Just the way it is.