I don’t understand why suicide is a bad thing. My life has been ruined by someone I love and trusted. She accused me of fucking rape and I can’t even get up during sex. I’ve lost the love of my life, my daughter and everything I have. EVERYTHING. I want to die, but I’m told suicide is a bad thing. Why is it a bad thing?
I don’t want to live every day of my life worried about my daughter, wondering if shes okay. I don’t want to live every day of my life under the shadow of being accused of rape. I don’t want to live every day of my life without the person I love, the person I put so much on the line for.
But suicide is bad. I don’t get it.
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Suicide is a bad idea because it hurts the people who truly love you. It means you gave up and let those who made your life miserable — either by accident or deliberately — win. And, trust me on this one, nearly everyone forgets you later anyway. It is as if you never lived. Never mattered. Those who remember you even a little will be only angry at you or sad or both FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.
Do you really want to do that to them?
And if you kill yourself, speaking (myself) as the daughter of a suicide, your daughter will probably not have any good thoughts about you ever again. She won’t buy that you did it for her. I know I didn’t.
But if you live, you give her hope that someday she may find you and discover she that she loves you and is proud to be your daughter. Because you didn’t give up.
But if you kill yourself, it means you wasted your life in the most selfish and flippant way. It means you buried your spirit and gifts and uniqueness under a few feet of mud.
Where is the glory and virtue in that?
And worst of all, no matter how bad things get, they ALWAYS get better. I am speaking as someone who grew up in poverty, was beaten by gangs, and was abused by my family.
I don’t know about you, but I have made a pledge to not miss a second of the good times. Every single good moment was worth the bad ones.
And personally, I will not let those who hurt me win. EVER. I swore I would outlast them, and I have. Now I am over half a century old and having a good life — finally!
Listen, if you REALLY want to die, make it at least count for something. There are plenty of good causes to die for. Pick one and help people. Go to Chile, Argentina, Israel, Sudan and feed someone or fight for their right to live well and NOT be a slave or a target.
No one admires anyone for throwing their meaningless sorry life away. Ever.
That’s why.
Just the way it is.
BVecause life is a gift from God, a precious gift that we only hae one chance at. And as life is a test, suicide to me seems like a copt out, announcing failure, regecting the gift that God gave you.
I’m sorry if I’m a little harsh this evening. My brother is stationed at Fort Hood durring the shooting, and I am thinking about the gift that life is, and those who lost their lives so sensiously. THankfully he was ok.
BVut still, I can’t get over this feeling that it could have been him! Sorry to vent. I’m still shocked. I don’t know what to do.
I reckon it’s anti-climatically in the sense that it leaves a huge void behind and doesn’t directly solve the problems.
Plus folks do care. I do… I feel rather worried…
Plus if you are gone, the hope goes too. the possibility of things getting better also goes.
Well, Everyone falls on hard times, I’m sure you have before, I have, but….usually things get better, you never know what’s just around the corner. If you are dead you won’t have the chance to improve things, or see them improve. It will however calm you down, I’m sure you are really tense, all you really need to do is calm down, not die….But how can you accomplish that? Maybe you are wired to be anxious….If you can control yourself, your thoughts, emotions, you won’t feel like dying anymore. Isn’t it time you learned to control yourself, I work on controling myself all the time, focus on that instead of giving up…work harder Work really hard so you don’t have to kill yourself. This maybe the hardest thing you have ever done, but remember, there are other people suffering with you right now.
Well, first, suicide would cause grief to anyone who cares about you. You may not feel that anyone does right now, but I believe everybody has somebody who cares about them and would miss them if they were gone. Actually, even though Katelyn has elected to end the relationship, I would think that she still loves and cares for you, if for no other reason, as the father of her child. I would think that she would grieve if you were gone.
Secondly, suicide is pretty darn permanent. Once you’re dead, there’s no going back. I realize right now you don’t see an end to your pain while remaining on this earth, but you have more hope of things getting better in this life while you’re alive, than if you were dead. If there’s a chance for things to get better that you may not see right now, you’ll lose that chance if you end your life.
Finally, I’ve gathered from reading this blog that you’re a Christian, so I’m going to offer a theological perspective. We are told in the Ten Commandments not to commit murder, and, while I’ve yet to read a Bible passage that specifically says suicide is murder, since we are created by God, I think it would be safe to infer that suicide would be the murder of oneself, and therefore something we should not do — basically a sin, as is murder. Now would it go unforgiven? I know there’s debate on that issue, but personally I believe that once someone has received salvation through Christ, all sins will be forgiven, and I believe suicide would also be covered. That doesn’t mean we should do it though. Our lives were given to us by God, and I believe that we should leave the decision up to God as to when and how we leave this earth.
I also believe that God has the power, and the love for you, to give you peace in your circumstances. If you haven’t already done so, I would suggest that you take your broken heart to God and tell Him that you’re in total despair, don’t see an end in sight to this mess, and ask Him to take the driver’s seat. I believe that God can and will help you and give you peace, if you ask.
I understand from reading your blog that you’re not getting much if any support from your church, which is a shame. Is there another church you could go to, or a trusted Christian friend that you can talk to?
I sort of went on for a while, and hope I’ve helped in answering your question. Continued prayers for you, Kate, and your soon-to-be daughter.
If society accepts capital punishment, why not suicide?
I don’t believe in capital punishment
I think it’s rather wrong.
I think the main reason why I would not want to end it is fear of traumatizing people with finding me.
Which is morbid, but if I couldn’t HELP how I died, it’s one thing, but to knowingly die and be found like that… well…
It’s just, at the risk of sounding harsh, you have to face up to things and hopefully they will start to get better. Death means the end, but being alive means, well, hope.
Some commenters above have said that the reason suicide is bad is because you’d hurt people who love you. That’s fair enough, but I think that suicide is irrational even if you live in a deserted island.
First of all, there’s no law of the universe that says people have to love you. If you think it’s absolutely necessary that someone loves you, you simply have a false belief.
Second, the only plausibly rational justification for suicide is constant physical pain. Psychological pain – nope, I don’t think so. It typically goes away with time. You can deal with it in various ways. You can take medication if need be. A lot of times it’s enough to think more clearly in ways that are not so self-defeating. Have you talked to a professional?
Basically, if you think suicide is a good option, I don’t think you’ve thought it through very well, and you’re not well informed about your options.
Zach, Suicide itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Lots of middle-eastern religions consider it a good thing. Christianity itself considers many martyrs to be saints. When someone is really really sick (as in bedridden, and unable to respond to external stimulii), many people feel that termination is for the best.
BUT….
At it’s simplist, suicide is a direct enactment of “Thou Shalt not Kill”
Unlike other sins, because suicide is terminal, there can be no asking for forgiveness once the deed is done.
I know you’re a religious person, so I’ll put it to you in your own terms. God gives you the greatest gift of all, life. It doesn’t make sense to “throw it back in his face”.
Then there’s your personal reasons. They’re not good enough. You don’t qualify as a martyr. There’s hundreds of saints before you who have suffered more greatly. Suicide under the current conditions is acceptance. It is “losing”, it is letting the forces of evil win. You want to be a Christian, you need to fight like one.
Finally, and most importantly of all, there’s Katelyn and the baby. They need you. To opt out on them at this point is the same as running out of their lives because of your own selfish interests. They need your support. Don’t run away.
I couldn’t of said it better myself Gavin!