Worst Day In My Life

Yesterday I heard from one of the fire instructors at the academy about the worst day in his life, and it was not when his child died, it was not when his wife died, but when a child he carried out of a fire died 2 days later. Today is now my worst day.Today Katelyn’s mom again tried to have me arrested on trumped up charges.  I took Katelyn too her case manager today and her mother called the police on me.  Her mother has throwed Katelyn in an undisclosed adult foster care location, and prohibiting me from contacting Katelyn.

It was the worst feeling ever watching the person you love crying, hopeless, and watching her future and our child’s future dissolve in front of us – and being powerless to stop it. I am so sick right now to my stomach, I so want to cry and just be held – but the one person who would hold me I can’t talk to anymore because of her abusive, controlling and manipulative mother (Katelyn’s own words).  I fear for Katelyn’s future.  I fear for our childs future.

I’m melting down right now.  I’m powerless and had to walk away from the person I love most even though she wanted me there, because her mother is an abusive control freak.  I hope I can get through this – but to be honest right now I don’t know.