Well last night I spoke to Katelyn’s mother and then this morning I spoke to a mutual friend. I don’t know what to believe anymore. Earlier today I was thinking the love of my life just left me – and now it appears that may be not so. I wish I could just talk to her, but I can’t. Her guardian has not signed the paperwork to let me talk to her. Its very difficult for me not only being able to be there for her during her pregnancy, but not even knowing why shes in the hospital, if shes really okay, and all these other things are really eating me away.
Right now I don’t know if shes breaking up with me, I don’t know if shes okay, I don’t know why shes in the hospital, I don’t know a lot. Not knowing hurts, not being able to be there – or even talk to someone you love that is sick hurts even more.
So right now I’m trying to diddle around, clean my apartment so I can make a video showing off my new apartment, and work on some side projects including a surprise for Autism Speaks tomorrow. My mind however keeps going to Katelyn. Last night I cried myself to sleep – and I’m getting sick of falling asleep in a pile of tears. I just wanna know whats going on.
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s a bit of a muddle, isn’t it?
Good luck cleaning the apartment and making the video.
Falling asleep in a pile of tears is not good.
I don’t understand the word muddle… I take it by your IP address its an Australian phrase. Would you mind explaining it?
Also I don’t think I’m going to do the video until I hear from Kate. I don’t clean well when I’m depressed, and until I know Katelyn’s ok I’m gonna be struggling with it.
Muddle= confusing mess.
or there’s muddle through some how which means, we’ll just have to get through all of this.
Lots of Australian phrases are British (or at least the ones I use), and some are even American.
Synesthesia gives a good explanation.
“I take it by your IP address its an Australian phrase.”
This gives you the sense of control you like doesn’t it? You just love to be in control.
No, I was stating that it must be an Australian Phrase that an American like myself is not used to.
I would like to remind you that using a fake email address and a IP annonymizer is in violation of the posted commenting rules. Further comments using either of these violations will not be approved.
Zach,
Here’s a reply I made to an editorial which will be appear in tomorrow’s USA Today regarding what they purpose to be an increase in the proportion of autism in children. I was offended by the very premise… to me the only increase is an increase in reporting and diagnosis…
So I responded to them in an open letter, which I have copied to a page in my blog:
http://aule.ganoksin.com/blogs/2009/10/05/the-vala-speaks-in-defense-of-fair-treatment-of-autistics/
Check it out!
Aulë
JJ,
Zach can hardly be blamed for a slight need to control the little things that he still can, when so many people have taken the right to control his own destiny away from him.
In other words, why look for the speck of wood in someone’s eye when so easily you ignore the plank of wood in your own?
G’day!
Aulë