I recently ran across a news article about a couple that is madly in love – and the guy has Aspergers Syndrome. It gave me some hope for Katelyn and I. In the article the writer quotes someone on the struggles that people with Aspergers have in intimate relationships perfectly – “If someone is angry, I know what it means if they give me the bird or shake their fist. And I know if someone is happy and cheering, like at a Broncos game. It’s the subtle communication in a marriage that I struggled to see. … Relating to someone romantically is like dealing with another culture.”
I remember a lot of moments like that with Katelyn, things she thought I understood – and to be honest I was oblivious to them. Kate would often need me just to listen to her struggles and I would try to solve the struggles she told me about, or dumber things like after sex getting up and checking the email instead of cuddling. I later found out that this made her feel really unloved.
Aspergers Syndrome can lead to problems in romantic relationships and according to the article, “to cope, the affected partner tends to isolate or dominate in the relationship, which worsens the situation.” – which is partly what happened to Katelyn and I.
The full article can be seen here. What are some ways that couples can make relationships can work if a person in them has Aspergers Syndrome? I just hope its not too late for Katelyn and I.
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I noticed that the article has almost nothing to say about couples in which the wife has Asperger’s.
This may lift you up, it always does me, and hopefully it will give you the hope you need.
1 Corithians (on Love)
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.