Do you love a man or woman with Aspergers or Autism? Well there are now support groups online available to you. The Global and Regional Aspergers Syndrome partnership has several online support groups including a new one for normal people who date people on the Autism Spectrum. Now you can get help with dating the person you love that has Aspergers Syndrome. I wish something like this was available six months ago, it would of really helped Katelyn and I.
If your interested in the GRASP Support group check it out here.
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I have just lately discovered that the man I’ve been married to for the past 40 years is an aspie. My grandson, age 9, was diagnosed first, which made me look for information and in doing so, I recognized my husband.
However, there is a male equivalent too, isn’t there.
We had the most horrible argument one day, many years ago, when going to a city far from ours to look for shoes in his size – 17. We found a shoe store that had the variety he was looking for, but when we got into that town, we found that they were having their annual parade (as luck would have it) and all the streets were closed, making it impossible to get to the store before it closed.
I suggested staying overnight in a hotel, buying a toothbrush and other necessities, and going back the next day. He went nuts and proclaimed that he was not going to spend money for a motel room, although on the way back home, we chanced upon a rather expensive Amish restaurant that made us pay for one meal what we would have spent on a hotel room. I was furious with him. Mainly because he cannot be spontaneous, and also because I thought staying overnight would be rather romantic, but he just didn’t get it.
He goes nuts whenever plans go awry and we need to go to Plan B. We’ve never had a vacation that he didn’t ruin because something or other went against “the plan.” Is that a male thing? Or is it just accentuated by his aspberger’s syndrome.
Also, we have always had problems with our sex lives. To put it discreetly, I have more interest than he has, and that has been true from the beginning – 40 years ago. I strongly believe he fakes orgasms on those very rare occasions that we actually get that close to one another. He once told a counselor that the only reason he makes love to me sometimes is that it’s been so long, he’s afraid I’ll be really mad if he doesn’t. Doesn’t that make me feel special.
However, when all is said and done, he is a good man and I love him. He is a computer nerd and the way he shows his affection is by making sure that my computer and our 3 daughters’ computers are all updated and working properly.
I would like to understand him better. Please help me to communicate him more effectively than I have in the past.
I am a newspaper and marketing writer, which I think makes me more sensitive. And which also makes me hurt all the more because he seems to be so emotionally absent that I can’t get it through to him how hurt I am.
Help!
Thanks
Carol
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