Katelyn’s 40 week OB appointment was Tuesday. I have asked her guardian to let me know if all is okay – and I have not heard a thing. So naturally I’m starting to get really concerned. At that appointment they were going to finalize the due date, find out if it inherited Kate’s heart condition, and its doing okay with all this stress. So right now I’m really stressed out and worried about our kid. No one seems to care – and I don’t even know if my kid is okay.
All I know my kid as is the ultrasound that Kate had taken at Planned Parenthood at 5 weeks pregnant. Just a little dot. Now it has arms, legs, feet, and is kicking and I’m not there. Kate’s apparently showing now as well – and I havent seen her.
A recent picture of Kate (left) at her dad's birthday
So naturally of course I’m upset, I’m hurting, and I’m starting to get depressed. I think its normal in these situations to be really upset about this, but everyone seems to think I should not be. I miss Katelyn so much right now, and I can’t be there for her while shes pregnant with our child. I spend a lot of time crying, and everything because of this.
I’m getting sick of it. No one seems to respect the fact that I’m the father here. I don’t even know if our kid is still okay. I saw pictures on facebook of Kate at her father’s birthday party. Shes never smiling, and it seemed pretty obvious that there trying to hide her stomach in the pictures.
Why is it not okay to be hurting when all this is happening around me? Why do people think I should be fine not being able to be at Kate’s side when she want’s me there.?
Below is a picture of all I know my kid as. I’m going to go as far to say as Kate’s mom and dad are trying to make me loose my mind. They have been making false accusations again according to documentation provided to my case manager from Katelyn’s case manager. Katelyn’s guardian has told me shes seeing right through it – but it still hurts. I just want us all to be happy again. I want all this to stop.
I know I have done bad things, but I’ve stopped. I want this all to just stop. I want us all to be happy again.
All I know my kid as, and now it has a head, arms, feet, fingernails 
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
I don’t think anyone is right to say you shouldn’t feel stressed out about what’s happened. I hope things start looking up for the two of you soon. No matter what, a baby should be with his parents if they care about them as much as you do.
Zach, we know you screwed up. We also know your trying to be the better person here and make things right. You have every right to file suit against her mother for slander. From what Kate showed me on the guardianship paperwork she slandered the hell out of you. Stating that your a “very abusive man and that guardianship was needed to keep Kate and the child away from you”.
Shes also made some huge accusations to your church, your friends, and a lot of other people in your life. This has no doubt caused financial loss for you, as well as a healthy and safety issue.
I really think you need to draw a line, come up with a date in your head and if the accusations continue beyond that date take her to court. Its becoming clear your struggling with being patient with her, but your going to need to draw a line for you and your child. I know your worried about stressing Kate out even more, but have you wondered what Katelyn has been hearing from her mother about you? Do you think thats stressing her out?
Now I’m going to address Kate’s mother here as I’m sure she reads this blog frequently. Your not a horrible person, what you are doing is trying to protect your daughter. You need to realize that you are hurting your daughter and hurting your grandchild. Your daughter is madly in love with this man. Yes he has issues, but your not perfect either. I don’t know of one man that would be accused of rape and still be there for someone afterwords because they know shes sick. Zach really does love Kate. Kate really does love Zach.
You two need to sit down with a counselor or something without Kate in the room, and hammer out your differences for Kate, because Zach and you are going to be in Kate’s life for a long time. Kate needs you both right now. I know you two disagree on quite a bit, but its time you both quit being stubborn and stupid for Kate and the unborn child.
Dear – what do you know about pregnancy?
If it was her “40 week” appt, she’s due NOW.
Showing? She should certainly be quite obviously pregnant, she’s due to give birth imminently.
Also, if you know the exact date of conception, you know as well as any doc when this baby is “due”.
I’m sorry its her 20 week or 4 month appt.
I think the case managers especially yours should help put you in touch with someone who can help you with this situation. Legal help or finding out what your rights are. Or helping you change whatever is in place keeping you from being in contact with Kate. If it’s legal, because Kate accused you, one case manager could get a written statement from Kate stating the accusation was false, then give it to the other case manager, then you take it to court and lift the restraining order or what ever it is keeping you from talking to her. I’d say try talking to the Mother and working it out, but you probably tried it already. I hate to say it but if Kate caused this by falsly accusing you, you and her may just have to suffer a while and ride it out together. Is there a time limit on whatever restraining order they have on you? I’m not sure what is keeping you from being able to have any contact with Kate?
Shes already told her case managers its false.
I have been reading your blog for a while now, and would like to say that you, Katelyn, your unborn child, and all involved have been and continue to be in my prayers.
I believe it is misguided for anyone to say you shouldn’t be stressed in this situation. I wish you weren’t stressed. I wish you didn’t have to go through the stress of this mess. I wish Kate didn’t have to go through the stress. I wish your unborn child doesn’t have to go through the stress (while the child mercifully doesn’t know what all is going on, I am concerned, as it sounds you are, that living inside his/her stressed mother can’t be helping the baby). But the fact that you are stressed, given the circumstances, I would say is completely understandable. People should not be wondering why you’re stressed, but why one *wouldn’t* be stressed given the situation.
I’m wondering something…and I do not mean to put my nose where it doesn’t belong, and if you’re not comfortable answering this, that’s perfectly okay. But I’m wondering…you say that Kate’s guardian sees through the accusations her mother is making about you…so why is she barring you from having contact with Kate? Has she given an explanation for this? It sounds like a HUGE part of your stress is not being able to communicate with Kate and be with her for the pregnancy of the child you are the father of. Again, if you’re not comfortable answering, that is totally fine, it just seems, well, I’m sure Kate is stressed out not being able to communicate with you as well, so keeping you from each other just seems counterproductive.
Once again, you, Kate, your child, and everyone affected are in my prayers daily.
She wants to have a meeting with my case management, her case management, Kate and I with her present before contact resumes. It was scheduled for last monday but my case management canceled.
The situation is a mess that is for sure, I hope you and Kate come out of this stronger and wiser.
We are not made of stone are we? I am rooting for you.
From what you said earlier you are so close to having a meeting, just hold on. Have you rescedualed a date for this meeting that will take place? If you haven’t , do it as soon as possible because having the meeting date in your head will help you focus on how long you will have to wait. You can do it!!!
I think it’s going to be important for you not to expect anything to come through… for example, when people say they will have an appointment with you, you need to have a plan for if they cancel, and a plan for if the appointment goes the way you want it, and a plan for if the appointment doesn’t go as well as you planned… that way you won’t feel completely off balance when unexpected things happen. It is easier when you have planned for all the likely outcomes. Government people are horrible about keeping appointments, because half the time they are overworked and the other half the time they know very well you haven’t any other option and have decided to go fishing instead… I hope things get better for you.