So again today I tried to stop the drama with Kates mama.I sent her a nicely worded email urging her to stop. At this point I expect the “no response game” that she likes to play in order to control the situation, but I really hope to be pleasantly surprised.
Lately shes been pointing out everyone elses wrong doings on the situation, and telling everyone else they deserve consequences for their actions – but she refuses to point the finger at herself, refuses to face consequences herself, and even refuses to admit shes wrong.
I know I can’t control others, and can only control my reaction – but this woman is scaring me right now. I wish she would just stop with the drama.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Zach,
Please understand that I say I am autistic rather than Aspergers. Recent therapists had given me to understand that socially I still show symptoms of autism, especially under stress. Therefore I am a high functioning autistic rather than an Aspergers.
As I once said before, Kate’s mother sounds a lot like my own late mother.
Because I was both autistic and gifted my mother wanted
me to stay a child for her, forever. She would not tolerate opinions different from hers, especially mine. I was her “special learning disabled child” and no amount of my attempts or anyone elses to persuade her that I was capable of my own independence would convince her other wise.
My mother had also suffered from major depression and from addictions to prescription painkillers. She stayed in bed much of the day due to the depression and by so doing controlled events around her. When she travelled with any of us adult children she would behave as if she knew more than her children did, even when her behavior was not what the situation needed. She would also volunteer my entire life history to anyone I attempted to make contact with my own. This was extremely humiliating and seemed calculated to ruin any friendships and relationships and other opportunities for growith.
My continued presence under her thumb was part of her payoff along with staying in bed all day and getting high on the meds. Because of this I had not talked with her in 10 years, prior to her having suicided by taking an entire bottle of Percocet.
Seems to me that based on your’s and Kate’s description of her mother, that her mother is definitely dysfunctional with severe boundary issues and is certainly in need of therapy.
I truly recommend you stop trying to make peace with Kate’s mother. It accomplishes nothing for you, makes you only more disturbed, and gives Kate’s mother even more ammunition against you.
As I said before, you and Kate should try to get the guardianship lifted, then with help move away from the area at least a thousand miles away, and then elope.
Again, getting enlisted as a fireman would get you and your family the opportunity to move to another country on Uncle Sam’s nickel because the military provides housing at all of its foreign bases.
You also really should use some of your student money to join a prepaid legal service, and then find an attorney to protect youselves from having your baby seized by either your mother or this Laura character; because that could very well be thier next move.
Best,
Aulë
Typo, sorry:
You also really should use some of your student money to join a prepaid legal service, and then find an attorney to protect youselves from having your baby seized by Kate’s mother or this Laura character; because that could very well be thier next move.
Best,
Aulë