For those following this blog lately, you may have noticed I am not doing well. Its time to talk.For the last couple of months I have been going downhill. This has been a product of many things – none of which are Neurodiversity (sorry to disapoint you John Best). Seeing as I’m a list type person I’m going to break from the traditional style of writing and list some of my stressors so you all can understand.
- Not being able to be there for Kate while she is pregnant with our child. I don’t think people understand how painful it is not being able to do anything for her or your kid, not being able to go to appointments, not being able to be there in the ER when things possibly go wrong.
- Not having all the information. As I have no contact with Kate, I only get limited information on how shes doing – and usually that information is the bad information.
- Not knowing what Kate wants to do with the future, this kid, and this mess.
- I had to go off my medication due to circumstances not in my control, and I’m not back on them yet as I live alone and you have side effects the first week.
- Friends not knowing how to help, so being unsupportive.
- Lack of sleep due to nightmares of our kid dying.
- Fear of the future, what will happen with the kid, what will happen with Kate
- Loosing faith in God.
I’m going to be trying to deal with this whole mess, but to be honest I feel like this mess is to big for me to handle alone. Next Monday there is a hearing about dropping the PPO Kate has. From what I understand Kate wants to drop it and admit she lied, but I’m still deciding whether I am going to show up even.
Related Posts |
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Zach,
I’m sorry you can’t see how Neurodiversity caused this. You might have been able to handle the situation better if you had allowed people to help you get rid of the Asperger’s.
The things you’ve been through are very stressful for anyone and a lot of people handle it the wrong way. There are no pat answers to addressing your current problems.
You can pay for some mistakes for a long time. You deal with it and grow from the experience.
What follows is not an insult. Your brain was harmed. Pharma started Neurodiversity to influence young people just like you to indoctrinate you into a place who would make you feel good. They won’t ever do anything to help you. I’m sure you realize that right now. I believe you were 11 years old when Neurodiversity began this mental assault on you, Zach. All of the stuff about Asperger’s that you were drawn to online was all by design, designed to prevent you from learning the truth.
I’m not joking when I call ND a cult, Zach. It’s a cult of sophistry designed by very intelligent people, people who have been lying to you for a long time.
I don’t lie, Zach. I don’t need to. All I do when it comes to autism is to share the knowledge that I gained so I could help my son. I offer it to you. You’re a victim Zach and I don’t like that. If you want to talk, email me at bettwice33@juno.com .
Thanks for your concern. Now I’m going to give you some advise.
They have medications and therapy for paranoia, I suggest you look into both.
Thank God you’re alive, Zach! I was in tears when I read that “The Drama is Over” post and I wrote this poem here at http://www.autistics.org/forum/index.php?topic=2470.msg4389#msg4389 because I was that sad.
I am very pleased to see that you are at least still here. I’m very sorry that I haven’t been any help to you, being someone you don’t know from Adam and living in another country, but I can always read what you need to put and I’ll make the effort to reply more to you.
Good to see you’re still around. Many people were very concerned for you across the blogosphere.
There are programs to assist, please plug into a local group.
Be encouraged at the moments you are given that are filled with joy, and focus on those positive moments in times of trouble. It does take practice, and over time things will be much better.
Blessings to you – you are never alone.