Normally in a relationship of any kind your going to hurt, but in love you are really going to hurt at times – even in the best of relationships (or so I’m told). I’m starting to realize though that Aspergers can often cause love to become torture – but its not a bad thing.
North Korean Kim Jong Il Who Does Not Comb His Hair, and launches missiles
Relationships are by nature two unique people coming together. When two unique people come together you are going to have difference, conflicts, disagreements – and if your from North Korea and don’t comb your hair missile launches (but that’s besides the point).
I spent last week wondering now that I’m engaged is love really worth the torture, is love really worth the agony you get in your heart during some of the more heated disagreements.
Then there are the times when I’m upset at myself for doing something wrong, not understanding a que she was trying to give me. I feel so bad that she has to say “hold me” instead of me knowing she needs to be held. I feel horrible that when her face is blank from deep thought I think shes upset about something.
The more I look at love, I’m going to realize at times its going to hurt. At times its going to feel like your being tortured during the rougher times. But the more Kate and I work through these rough times the more we grow. Literally we turn the crap into fertilizer and grow or relationship from it.
Its Worth It
My Fiance, who combs her hair, is beutiful, and owns no missiles
To be honest even though it can be so torturous at times – love is also worth it. Being able to care and love about someone in such a way is so deep and rewarding. Watching the walls she breaks down in my life, and the walls I break down in her life are just absolutely worth it.
Knowing your going to have a partner with you through the thick and thin, through all the hurt and torture. Knowing that you will always have this person who you love so deeply and that they love you – no matter how bad life is.
That’s what makes love worth it, even if you don’t have kids, you don’t have sex, you have that awesome support from true love.
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Just to clarify, I’m an NT with an AS partner… We’ve been going through some hard times recently, and I’ve been doubting as to whether it’s really worth the anguish we go through. Strange as it is I can honestly say that reading this article has affected my perception of the situation in a postive manner; it might even save my relationship.
Thank you and cheers; she really is quite lovely.
Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear that… I hope you find someone who deserves you more.