If there is one thing I hate more then anything is a liar, and more then anything I hate a habitual liar. I’m having to deal with one right now.If you would like to read more about what I’m having to deal about personally you may read it on my personal blog.
I don’t get what people gain of of lying. Lying always results in more harm then good, it even harms the liar themselves. You can only be able to tell people lies for so long, and then the lines between lies and truth start to fade and you will slip up and then you will loose everything – including friendships, money and your self worth.
There is never a good reason to lie, and lying to protect your kids is also not healthy. People don’t realise how much lies can hurt people and they really need to start realising as well how much it hurts themselves.
A question was raised to me on whether people with disabilities often know whether or not they are lying or what a lie is. It is my opinion that if you have a good understanding of English and are aware of whats around you, your capable of lying and knowing if you are lying or not. I think people with disabilities often lie because they just want to please people (which does not make it right or acceptable by the way)
Seeing as plenty of disabled people and their relatives and friends read this, what is your oppinion on the connection of disabilty and habitual lying if there is one?
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
similar situation here. She only tells the truth when she slips up. My daughter is my love, but her mom is a manipulative lying girl… thinking about going for full custody.. if I get it, I can tell her when and where, if not, it’s still the same world of lies and control…
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Zach,
Have you considered adoption? Have this lunatic declared an unfit mother and send the baby to a good home.
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@John:
Yes I have considered adoption, but I would want to meet the adoptive parents first and trust them to take care of my child. As far as having her declared unfit thats not something I need to worry about right now and is still 7 months off.
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Sorry if this is useless. I usually feel like I’m blathering, here. Years ago I read a novel by Charlotte Vale Allen called Claudia’s Shadow, where the narrator is coming to terms with having had a sister with FAS. This sister was deceptive and promiscuous, too, so I wondered whether this was a pattern or not. (The novel also left me wondering what it was like for my siblings with me being a crip.)
I just checked Wikipedia and they cited a study where FAS subjects had high rates of criminal and sexual misbehaviour. You’re probably already familiar with this page. So maybe for FAS this is a pattern. If you haven’t seen the novel, you might like it.
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Anemone and any other readers:
There is another book called The Whitest Wall by Jodee Kulp. It has been nominated or maybe won several awards.
In my last (Could Be Cousin) I tried to write about a character with FAS/FAE.
When I was a girl (2001) I read Teresa Kellerman’s work.
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Sometimes I lie when people expect me to say something in particular or ask me if I think/want something in particular, and it’s easier to go along with them than figure out how to explain something different.
Usually, though, I’m pathologically honest. (No doubt one of the defects of autism.) It’s possible some disabilities lend themselves to more lying, but I don’t know of any off hand.
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Disabilities that lend themselves to lying:
I don’t know that a personality disorder itself is a disability, but several on the Cluster B seem to lead to ‘lies by commission’ (false positives in the world of science), especially histronic and narcissistic.
Reactive Attachment Disorder (in the childhood and adolescents section on the DSM of the day) has a lot of liars.
Also the prototypical disorder is pseudological fantastica otherwise known as compulsive lying. I had written something about this in 2006.
April 2006 Case Study on Pseudological Fantastica
If you have a good understanding of English (or of the language in the majority culture/the one in which you were raised) then that would tend to make you a better liar, rather than a worse one. (Theory of Mind would tend to suggest this). And having a good understanding of what’s around you would make you tend to manipulate the gaps.
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