Going to social gatherings with Aspergers Syndrome can be a complex and overwhelming thing. My girlfriend invited me to one recently put on by a group of her friends. recently and to be honest I was scared. I knew I was going to get overwhelmed, I knew I could end up embarrassing both me and her – but the things I knew would happen never did, and I actually enjoyed myself. I thought I would write about what made it easier for me to enjoy. (includes gooey pictures)
One of the first things that made it so much easier was there was only a small group of people at the dance – less than 25 at the peek of it. The dance was put on by a few of my girlfriends friends and only a small group of people were invited.
The following was a list of things that I thought helped me at the dance:
- Pay attention to your date and only your date, just ignore everyone else. This really helps drown out the crowd and prevent you from getting overwhelming.
- Spend a little time enjoying the beverages and food – people only tend to watch you if your on the dance floor.
- Practice dancing before hand – turn on a radio and bust a grove at home. This can help with getting used to dancing itself – plus its all sappy and romantic.
Kate is good at dancing!
- If your a guy, don’t worry about the girls having there conferences in the bathroom. I don’t know if they discuss world domination, boys or exchange recipes in there – but it allows time to mellow out.
- Make sure your date is supportive and understanding of your Aspergers – it makes it easier in the long run.
- Don’t pay any attention to the paparazzi camera friends – there going to get your picture whether you like it or not, plus they are just clearly jealous.
Practice Dancing Before Hand!
I can’t stress how important this was for me, if you practice dancing before hand it removes a lot of the pressure on you when other people are watching. Aspergers can make activities such as dancing extremely difficult due to lack of coordination – so practice is important! Plus dancing alone can also be viewed as cheesy and romantic – and if your a guy that’s going to get you some points with your girl!
Your Ideas?
Those of you that have Aspergers or date someone with Aspergers – what has worked for you when trying to survive dances? I would also love to see the perspective of those with gals with Aspergers.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Awww your so sweet !!
Love you
Your girlfriend is beautiful, Zach. If she is as good on the inside as she looks on the outside, then you have definitely made the right decision to court/date her.
I can relate to some of your tips, but I have some of my own to add.
If you’re at a gathering with a lot of people, take as many breaks as possible (if you’re F, I would suggest wearing high heels to the gathering and taing them off to make a good excuse for this).
Try and be on the edge of the dancing crowd so that you don’t feel so claustrophobic.
I can’t help thinking of the chapter in Stephenson’s book “Cryptonomicon” in which Randy Waterhouse soothes his mind by eating Captain Crunch cereal in the most perfect ritualistic manner while getting ready to go ballroom dancing with Amy Shaftoe. As it turned out, Amy didn’t care that he wasn’t much good at it, and she wasn’t either; she just liked doing it with him.
I have a subscription to your blog and read it quite often. I just wanted to say how excited I am for you and happy that you have found someone that has accepted you, and is so patient and kind with the things you face by having Aspergers. I have a little sister and nephew both on the spectrum, so seeing how your life is blooming and it gives me hope that they, one day too, can have a meaningful relationship. Thanks for putting your story out here!
I would never dance.