As my pregnancy keeps going further along, I am getting some huge fears – fears which are related to my disability, pregnancy and christian faith.
I feel like I’m being pulled in every direction by friends, family and Zach’s family on choices I have to make. So many people are pushing me to abort, others want me to keep it. I’m also being treated like a horrible person by some people for not aborting the child, others for wanting to adopt it out, and even more for having sex before marriage. I know that my decision is the right one, the more I keep thinking on it, the decision gives me an overwhelming sense of peace.
I found out last Friday at my cardiologists that my heart is in great shape, and there is no need to fear dieing like I was told if I got pregnant. She even did an echo cardiogram just to make sure my heart was in great shape – which helped alleviate my fears a lot. This has removed a huge amount of stress from me.
As silly as this sounds, I’m afraid of gaining weight during pregnancy and not being able to loose it afterwords. It is kinda cool though because mother nature is giving me a boob job, and I always thought my boobs were to small for me – but Zach loves them just the way they are.
I also have a fear as well, because I’m having trouble standing up and being assertive for myself at doctor’s appointments, stating my needs and asking questions on my mind. Zach is always asking questions on whats going on, and how he can help, and I often just clam up. It really frustrates Zach because I tell him things I want to say before hand, and things I’m worried about but then I clam up in the doctors office. How can I help remember what I want to say in the doctor’s office and not clam up?
Please keep me in your prayers and feel free to offer any suggestions or ideas that may help me – Kate.
Note From Zach: I edited this post for spelling, grammar and SEO friendliness, but the thoughts and fears all remained intact.
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
and…
There are plenty of OBGYN’s.. figure out if this one is the right fit. Some doctor’s have a tendency to project more authority than others.. Again it’s only a guess, but something tells me you might prefer one that is down to earth… I know it’ such a pain to have to try out different doctors.. but can be so worth it.. and even then you may just likely have to write down your questions like the other’s stated.. but you sound like a thinker and feeler.. and I know personally for myself if I am lost in a doctor’s projections.. I cannot really focus on anything else.. most importantly how I’m feeling.. which is why we’re seeing the doctor in the first place!
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Welcome to life!
It’s freaking scarey as hell… but you are obviously brave in the fact that you have not kept your personal life from others. I’m guessing you feel that you’re surrounded by ‘authorities’.. These authorities can be your mom, your dad, your older sister, sometimes even your friends and your lovers, neighbors, pastors and yes especially doctors! Some will oppose your choices and some will not. Ultimately you are your own authority.. even doctor’s do not hold that over you.. I know it’s freaking scarey and you cannot force yourself to do anything you are not ready to do.. (even if it’s confronting a doctor) but recognize you are doing your best. If I am to give any advice just take it one day at a time and keep close to your faith..
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You can have Zach come with you right?
so just have him ask the questions.
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There are times when I won’t be able to make appointments. Also when I help advocate for Kate, Kate’s mother sees it as me being controlling.
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Kate,
Try writing down all your concerns and questions on paper before your doctor’s appts. Then even if you are too nervous to remember what you want to ask you can just hand your doctor the paper. It works for me when taking my son to the doctor. I am always so busy trying to keep him calm that I end up forgetting what I wanted to ask. I just want to get out of there without him melting down and then we get in the car and I think of what I meant to say!
Best wishes to you, Michelle
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“It really frustrates Zach because I tell him things I want to say before hand, and things I’m worried about but then I clam up in the doctors office. How can I help remember what I want to say in the doctor’s office and not clam up?”
Make a list! Write down your questions, as you think of them, between appointments, and take the list of questions with you. Hand it to your Dr. and have him/her answer each one. If you have follow up questions try to ask them then, or ask Zach to ask them, or write them down for next time.
My family Dr. is used to me having stuff written down, I think he expects it from me. Sometimes, when I have forgotten my list, I spend the time I have in the examining room before he comes in re-writing what I can remember of the paper that covers the examination table.
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