I’m not happy, and a lot of my friends are just upsetting me more. Some people seem to think that trashing Kate in front of me is a good way to cheer me up, its not. I still love Katelyn, and I always will. Others seem to think that throwing money at me, or trying to get me to concentrate on getting boatloads of money will make me happy. Money never brings happiness, only more problems. The last thing I hate is how other people say there are other ‘fish in the sea’. I’m sorry, but Katelyn is not replacable and I made a commitment to her and God that I will not walk out on.
People don’t seem to understand that I have lost my family. I’ve lost the love of my life, my best friend, and my daughter. I also know the ‘care theory’ that says the amount of people you have around you is directly proportionate to the chances of healing. I am sick right now, and trying to get better. I suffered a mental breakdown from being overwhelmed and in a lot of mental pain.
What makes it worse is because of my mental breakdown I lost my family. I knew I was going to loose my daughter, and I was hoping that Kate and I could grieve together. Instead I’m grieving alone.
So I have to ask, what would make me happy. Its pretty simple, repairing the relationship with Kate and her family, seeing that my daughter is healthy and safe, and knowing I have people around me I can depend on who won’t walk out on me.
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