Comments on: Aspergers, Relationships and Love

By: Zach

Zach — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 00:01:50 +0000

I just decided to give up on Kate, I realised how abusive she is http://www.thezach.net/blog/end-of-abuse/ I wish her the best of luck in the future, but I can no longer take her abuse.

By: Lindsay

Lindsay — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 16:43:04 +0000

I can’t help but think that this is my son in a few years. He is only six but this is exactly what he is like now. It honestly scared me a little because it was like watching him and how could someone know what he is like to a “T”. I only saw the trailer. I have to see this movie now. It is my mission. Thank you for bringing light to AS. They are so often misunderstood and put in the corner when they actually shine brighter than all of us!!

By: Aspergers and Love - I'll never be loved

Aspergers and Love - I'll never be loved — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 21:24:40 +0000

[...] complex. My internal biggest fear – down to the disability I have has become the topic of blockbuster movies, and even [...]

By: Michelle

Michelle — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 22:37:30 +0000

My guy is similar to you I think. I swear your writing could be his. He also has a tendency to run when things go well, but I always managed to help him stay. What made you stay with Kate? You and her both can email me at my personal email.

By: Zach

Zach — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 17:57:09 +0000

Michelle,

First off Kate and I have been having trouble as of late. When meeting with one of our pastors earlier this week he pointed out the same thing, when we get close to people we tend to shove them away.

As Kate is the girl in this relationship dating someone with Aspergers I’m going to email her your comment and ask her to reply. I think her advise would be better than mine.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 17:05:51 +0000

I just stumbled on your writings while doing research. The man I love and was with for a year got me pregnant and we broke up. I have since had a miscarriage and as a result of the two loses I have started seeing my therapist again. My therapist at one time was seeing us together as a couple. She truly believes (and after doing research so do I) that my ex has Asperger’s. She also thinks his pattern is get close to me and then push me away. She believes he will be back in my life, but I am scared he won’t. I miss him beyond what I can comprehend. He said reasons for the break-up, which happened moments before I told him that I was pregnant, were because being with me exhausted him and that he needed more alone time. I am very outgoing social person. He used to say things like “People drain me” and he would break-down in certain crowd sizes to the point where you couldn’t touch him. He also couldn’t handle light touches and said they hurt and at times when he became overwhelmed he would violently destroy him apartment. I realize these are traits of AS and I never knew it. I would get upset and mad for him not understanding things I would say or for saying he didn’t want to go out. If I had known I would have done so much differently. I want a second chance to do things right. He hasn’t been diagnosed with AS, but his mother, a nurse, suspects it as well.

How do I reach out to him and how long should I wait? I would love your advice.

By: spunkykitty

spunkykitty — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 14:37:16 +0000

i m a female aspie so i m very different on the surface from adam – but i think he is very endearing and i find geeky men attractive… cld it be the narcissistic streak in me?… but yes i do tend to go off rambling abt my obsessions when i feel uncomfortable though i dont hv a deadpan delivery (i m a performance artist… i hv learnt vocal inflections)…

wld love to catch the movie… even if it is a little stereotypical… and yes, all the movies / dramatisations etc abt asperger’s are abt males… so where are the females then?

By: Girl

Girl — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:39:22 +0000

If I could get my ASD son to say ” I see you are upset but I don’t know what to do about it.” well…that would be a great moment in my life for sure. I can only hope and wish that someday he will be able to do as much.

By: Anemone

Anemone — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 21:40:37 +0000

I don’t identify with the trailer, but then I’m female, and I generally face other issues. (Also I disagree with that Einstein etc. stuff, so it got my back up.) But I can see how it would work for men who don’t know what to do socially. In a way Aspergers, in its public stereotype, is an exaggeration of male issues in general, and that seems to be the take in this trailer. (It left me feeling excluded.)

When people are screwed up, they can do a real number on the people they get involved with. I fell hard for a man a long time ago. He played hot and cold, but wouldn’t let me just get to know him, because he had intimacy issues. It was hell. I was hung up on him for two decades. Then a psychic told me to track him down, we emailed each other for a week, and I got closure. If he had been straight with me at the time, I would have figured out in a few months that he was wrong for me instead of being hung up for decades like that.

I wonder what a female version of a film like Adam would be like?

By: Danni

Danni — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 21:28:04 +0000

I have Aspergers, and according to my boyfriend (not autistic, and sitting next to me) I’m not like that. I do know people on the spectrum who are though, and some of them are in relationships.

I’m not sure if I were more like him a few years ago, as I’ve learnt a lot about social communication over the last few years (and my college course this year taught it to me) but now if you can’t see me, it is unlikely you’d pick up on the Aspergers. The rocking and flapping and constant movement gives away there’s something there if you see me in person.