Comments on: Middle of a Meltdown http://www.aspieweb.net/aspergers-meltdown/ The Aspergers And Autism Web Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:29:54 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Alexa http://www.aspieweb.net/aspergers-meltdown/#comment-17613 Alexa Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:29:54 +0000 http://www.aspieweb.net/?p=659#comment-17613 I have meltdowns as well, and I am almost 13 and is an aspie! I have meltdowns as well, and I am almost 13 and is an aspie!

]]> By: Stephanie Mayberry http://www.aspieweb.net/aspergers-meltdown/#comment-17240 Stephanie Mayberry Sat, 23 Apr 2011 15:06:16 +0000 http://www.aspieweb.net/?p=659#comment-17240 My husband has become a pro at helping me during a meltdown. He says: 1. Stay calm. Don't raise your voice just because I raise mine. 2. Don't take it personally. You may feel like you have to take it personally because you are the only one in the room, but it probably isn't you - just the world. 3. Make it quiet. 4. Dim the lights. 5. Make the temperature pleasant (I like it cool) I can call him from work and tell him I am overstimulated, headed to out of control and when I get home he has the house cool and the bedroom very sensory friendly. He doesn't talk, just sits there with me. If I talk or engage him, he responds. Otherwise he is just there form me. My husband has become a pro at helping me during a meltdown. He says:
1. Stay calm. Don’t raise your voice just because I raise mine.
2. Don’t take it personally. You may feel like you have to take it personally because you are the only one in the room, but it probably isn’t you – just the world.
3. Make it quiet.
4. Dim the lights.
5. Make the temperature pleasant (I like it cool)
I can call him from work and tell him I am overstimulated, headed to out of control and when I get home he has the house cool and the bedroom very sensory friendly. He doesn’t talk, just sits there with me. If I talk or engage him, he responds. Otherwise he is just there form me.

]]> By: Alexa http://www.aspieweb.net/aspergers-meltdown/#comment-17158 Alexa Mon, 14 Mar 2011 19:37:42 +0000 http://www.aspieweb.net/?p=659#comment-17158 "my partner becomes very aggressive and verbally abuses me during her meltdowns. i cant help but want to leave the room and give her space but this makes the trigger bigger and then she self harms or gets more aggressive. i know am doing wrong by wanting to leave the room but i cant help but get emontionally upset by her comments." Next time anyone tells you to suck it up because she can't help it, remember what you said here: "i cant help but get emontionally upset by her comments." It's OK for you to want to leave the room when she verbally abuses you! It's OK for you to not enjoy her comments! It's OK for you to feel upset when she verbally abuses you! It's OK for you to have a unique personality of your own! "How can i stop this ?" I wish I was better at giving advice about this, but I have looked up resources for dealing with verbal abuse in relationships and found these links: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22verbal+abuse+in+relationships%22+resources I don't know enough about your own situation to be able to say which of these links are useful, however. Is it safe and affordable for you to get out of the relationship? “my partner becomes very aggressive and verbally abuses me during her meltdowns. i cant help but want to leave the room and give her space but this makes the trigger bigger and then she self harms or gets more aggressive. i know am doing wrong by wanting to leave the room but i cant help but get emontionally upset by her comments.”

Next time anyone tells you to suck it up because she can’t help it, remember what you said here: “i cant help but get emontionally upset by her comments.”

It’s OK for you to want to leave the room when she verbally abuses you!

It’s OK for you to not enjoy her comments!

It’s OK for you to feel upset when she verbally abuses you!

It’s OK for you to have a unique personality of your own!

“How can i stop this ?”

I wish I was better at giving advice about this, but I have looked up resources for dealing with verbal abuse in relationships and found these links: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22verbal+abuse+in+relationships%22+resources I don’t know enough about your own situation to be able to say which of these links are useful, however.

Is it safe and affordable for you to get out of the relationship?

]]> By: rob http://www.aspieweb.net/aspergers-meltdown/#comment-17150 rob Wed, 09 Mar 2011 21:56:19 +0000 http://www.aspieweb.net/?p=659#comment-17150 my partner becomes very aggressive and verbally abuses me during her meltdowns. i cant help but want to leave the room and give her space but this makes the trigger bigger and then she self harms or gets more aggressive. i know am doing wrong by wanting to leave the room but i cant help but get emontionally upset by her comments. How can i stop this ? thanks my partner becomes very aggressive and verbally abuses me during her meltdowns. i cant help but want to leave the room and give her space but this makes the trigger bigger and then she self harms or gets more aggressive. i know am doing wrong by wanting to leave the room but i cant help but get emontionally upset by her comments.

How can i stop this ?

thanks

]]> By: What’s in a name? « almost normal http://www.aspieweb.net/aspergers-meltdown/#comment-16287 What’s in a name? « almost normal Mon, 13 Dec 2010 10:05:26 +0000 http://www.aspieweb.net/?p=659#comment-16287 [...] This description of an autistic meltdown, however, does fit my experience. I actually got the word ‘meltdown’ from the autistic community, because their descriptions so closely matched my perceptions of my inner experience. [...] [...] This description of an autistic meltdown, however, does fit my experience. I actually got the word ‘meltdown’ from the autistic community, because their descriptions so closely matched my perceptions of my inner experience. [...]

]]> By: Theo http://www.aspieweb.net/aspergers-meltdown/#comment-15442 Theo Thu, 02 Sep 2010 19:44:34 +0000 http://www.aspieweb.net/?p=659#comment-15442 Growing up like I did, I had to learn how to supress things to stay alive. So I go long periods without melting down. I can go years. But when it happens, for me it is alwys very angry and violent. Last time I went off I threw my tv stand across the room, as well as my sofa, broke every glass thing in the apartment, through out dresser drrawers and turned over the dresser and put some holes in the walls. But also realize I have PTSD. When flashbacks occur, which are now long periods apart, I go into a meltdown afterwards. Though the last time I went off was after my dad had died. Sadness and other emotions in me alot of times comes out in anger, and as I suppress it for so long, when I go off, it's really bad!! I have heard it is uncommon for one to get as violent as I do durring that time. I lost a few hours last time, I came out of it dazed and not knowing what had just happened. Growing up like I did, I had to learn how to supress things to stay alive. So I go long periods without melting down. I can go years. But when it happens, for me it is alwys very angry and violent. Last time I went off I threw my tv stand across the room, as well as my sofa, broke every glass thing in the apartment, through out dresser drrawers and turned over the dresser and put some holes in the walls.

But also realize I have PTSD. When flashbacks occur, which are now long periods apart, I go into a meltdown afterwards. Though the last time I went off was after my dad had died. Sadness and other emotions in me alot of times comes out in anger, and as I suppress it for so long, when I go off, it’s really bad!!

I have heard it is uncommon for one to get as violent as I do durring that time. I lost a few hours last time, I came out of it dazed and not knowing what had just happened.

]]> By: Chelsea http://www.aspieweb.net/aspergers-meltdown/#comment-15413 Chelsea Sat, 28 Aug 2010 23:22:07 +0000 http://www.aspieweb.net/?p=659#comment-15413 My mom seems to be under the impression that I do not get meltdowns any more, because I have not been getting them that frequently. I definitely have one at least every 2 years, and they are almost always do to having too much schoolwork or getting yelled at by my parents. I really hate being yelled at. I would much prefer to fall off of my bike and get a nasty bruise than to hear my mom explode at me. A couple times this summer, my mom has been calling me "crazy" for getting overloaded by her stress when she was trying to her way around my college campus at night (because my brother selfishly insisted that she drove him to his place 60 miles away, she came back having to drive me at my summer orientation by 9:00) and when we were having a hard time getting the financial aid info organized. There are no moments worse than those when both you and your parents are stressed over a situation, and both of you get into meltdowns and say very mean things to each other. Yet my mom still does not seem to understand that just because I don't have kids and money to keep track of, that does not mean my life is easy! And it really scars me that she would ever call me crazy or stupid when clearly I am not either. I have definitely come a long way, though. I have been pretty good at keeping my cool around the kids I have worked with, and avoided losing my temper even though I had to walk through constipated hallways to class every day. Hopefully I will be lucky enough to receive a single occupancy dorm room so I do not feel imprisoned by 27/7 socialization. My mom seems to be under the impression that I do not get meltdowns any more, because I have not been getting them that frequently. I definitely have one at least every 2 years, and they are almost always do to having too much schoolwork or getting yelled at by my parents. I really hate being yelled at. I would much prefer to fall off of my bike and get a nasty bruise than to hear my mom explode at me.

A couple times this summer, my mom has been calling me “crazy” for getting overloaded by her stress when she was trying to her way around my college campus at night (because my brother selfishly insisted that she drove him to his place 60 miles away, she came back having to drive me at my summer orientation by 9:00) and when we were having a hard time getting the financial aid info organized.

There are no moments worse than those when both you and your parents are stressed over a situation, and both of you get into meltdowns and say very mean things to each other. Yet my mom still does not seem to understand that just because I don’t have kids and money to keep track of, that does not mean my life is easy! And it really scars me that she would ever call me crazy or stupid when clearly I am not either.

I have definitely come a long way, though. I have been pretty good at keeping my cool around the kids I have worked with, and avoided losing my temper even though I had to walk through constipated hallways to class every day. Hopefully I will be lucky enough to receive a single occupancy dorm room so I do not feel imprisoned by 27/7 socialization.

]]> By: Kari http://www.aspieweb.net/aspergers-meltdown/#comment-15394 Kari Sat, 28 Aug 2010 17:19:59 +0000 http://www.aspieweb.net/?p=659#comment-15394 I have posted recently about my son but I also have adevelopemental disability similar to aspergers or PDDNOS, and one of the traits I share with that is meltdowns, I will have to retreat to a quiet, dark place, or if not possible then its garunteed I will meltdown I have posted recently about my son but I also have adevelopemental disability similar to aspergers or PDDNOS, and one of the traits I share with that is meltdowns, I will have to retreat to a quiet, dark place, or if not possible then its garunteed I will meltdown

]]> By: narrah http://www.aspieweb.net/aspergers-meltdown/#comment-14321 narrah Sat, 19 Dec 2009 02:07:04 +0000 http://www.aspieweb.net/?p=659#comment-14321 This was a wonderful description of what happens to me. I finally have answers after 40 plus years. Generally it's someone's tone of voice that pushes me over the edge combined with noises. I am getting better at removing myself before I say something I would regret - however I wish I could stop the meltdown all together - at least now I'm aware - and can try to work on minimizing the damage - I liked the suggestion of carrying something with me to touch to calm myself - narrah This was a wonderful description of what happens to me.
I finally have answers after 40 plus years. Generally it’s someone’s tone of voice that pushes me over the edge combined with noises.

I am getting better at removing myself before I say something I would regret – however I wish I could stop the meltdown all together – at least now I’m aware – and can try to work on minimizing the damage – I liked the suggestion of carrying something with me to touch to calm myself –

narrah

]]> By: Gavin Bollard http://www.aspieweb.net/aspergers-meltdown/#comment-11632 Gavin Bollard Mon, 08 Jun 2009 22:54:32 +0000 http://www.aspieweb.net/?p=659#comment-11632 Definitely, getting away from the problem/irritant is the first step. It's difficult to learn to recognise the triggers because meltdowns are essentially "overloads". You're never quite sure exactly how much stress your system can take before it goes into meltdown. The descent is often sudden and unpredictable - it takes US by surprise just as much (perhaps more so) than those around us. When I was a child, the remedy was to hop on my bike and pedal away. I'd often be gone for hours but during the time I was pedalling, I'd be calming down. When you're with people however, it's far more difficult and sometimes, there's just nowhere to run. Definitely, getting away from the problem/irritant is the first step.

It’s difficult to learn to recognise the triggers because meltdowns are essentially “overloads”. You’re never quite sure exactly how much stress your system can take before it goes into meltdown. The descent is often sudden and unpredictable – it takes US by surprise just as much (perhaps more so) than those around us.

When I was a child, the remedy was to hop on my bike and pedal away. I’d often be gone for hours but during the time I was pedalling, I’d be calming down. When you’re with people however, it’s far more difficult and sometimes, there’s just nowhere to run.

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