Hi,
I’m Zach’s Fiance and I have an announcement to make….. we are pregnant!!
I just found out last Thursday that I am pregnant (this was the family emergency Zach was talking about). I am quite scared to say the least, and I have been wrestling with abortion or adopting the child.
The Ultrasound 5 weeks along
I have been wrestling with abortion because of the many lies my mother has told me about having kids, like I would die if I got pregnant. I am currently 5 weeks along (3 weeks from conception.)
I am more heavily considering adoption, and I think we found the right couple already. This is a very exciting thing me at at least and I would like you to share some stories and thoughts on this subject if you can. Also keep me in your prayers!
Is There A Baby Bump Yet?
I have a disability as well, mine is Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). My birth mother tried to kill me using alchohol and many other drugs because she could not afford an abortion – so this and my morals weigh heavily on me. (Yes I’m adopted – I never knew my birth mother)
Zach has asked me to make the announcement, and if its ok with all you guys I would like to write more often as the pregnancy progresses!
Note From Zach: I asked Kate to make this post because she has been activley contributing here with comments, and I felt it would be better for her to share her part of the story.
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
I don’t understand why you can’t be supported to raise the baby yourselves…
Kate and I are not in a financial position to raise a child right now, and shes trying to finish her high school diploma still
In a more enlightened world, your rights as parents would be respected to the extent of providing you with as much support as you needed to meet your responsibilities:
http://specialneedspublications.blogspot.com/2009/04/supporting-parents-with-learning.html
Actually in a more enlightened world, people would not be pushing their wishes on us – much like you are.
He was trying to support you.
It’s not pushing wishes on you, because there might also be a chance you could change your mind as the pregnancy continues.
And if that ever happens, it’s good to know if there is financial support available.
Anyways, good luck and congrats!
Hi there, I have never commented here before, but read regularly. Your post struck a chord with me as I had a very dear friend in my teen years who had FAS…sadly she passed away at 21 due to an undetected heart defect and I still miss her, 20 years later. I just wanted to wish you well during your pregnancy and send positive thoughts while you make your decision. I think it’s wonderful and admirable that you are considering adoption. I would be very interested in hearing about your pregnancy as it progresses. Good luck to you!!
well my birth brother from what i know died of a heart condition to, i am thinking there must be a link between FAS and heart defects.
Congratulations.
Good luck with whatever option you take. Are you going to go with open adoption so you can be part of the child’s life?
(nope, no baby bump. Flat tummy).
yes we are going to have an open adoption.
I believe that what Socrates was saying (I may be wrong) that in a more enlightened world the financial issues//other wouldn’t exist. I don’t believe that s/he was attempting to push you to keep the child or implying that that was your only consideration. also out of curiosity and if you feel comfortable answering how old are each of you?
i am 20 soon to be 21. and zach is 23
Congratulations! Hope you (all 3 of you!) are feeling good—-
This is excellent.
Kate, you’re looking great.
I’m glad it was such a nice emergency.
Good luck with the diploma as well.
Zach and Kate,
Congratulations! Whether you decide to parent the child yourself or make an adoption plan, you seem to both have good heads on your shoulder, and I’m sure that you will do what’s right for you.
We are a family through adoption, and still have contact with our two kid’s birthmother, and visit her (she’s in another state) about once every year or two. It’s what feels right for all parties involved.
Joe
hi,
i just wanted to wish you both well with your pregnancy, as well as relate my own story to you. eighteen years ago i had a baby at the age of eighteen which i gave up for adoption. in my native country, Ireland, abortion is outlawed so was not an option for me. and at that age i wouldn’t have had the funds to travel elsewhere in Europe to have it done (but even if i had i’m not sure i would have done). adoption is very common in Ireland and i grew up with lots of freinds who were adopted, so for me this was the only option. unfortunately, open adoption was not common practice so i have never been able to keep in touch with my son which i have to say has left me with nothing short of a void in my life.
but i don’t regret my decision for one minute, or rather i try not to. there would have been no way that i could have raised a child alone at that age and completed my education, and if it hadn’t been for the decision i made back then, then i wouldn’t have the life or the children that i have now.
i also just wanted to ask you, and i hope you don’t think i am being judgemental, but did your pregnancy occur by accident, were you using contraception? best of luck to you…MJ