Today I spent a lot of time reflecting on how Autism has effected my relationship with God. In order to have a relationship with God, you have to do what he says all the time without knowing why. I think not knowing God’s plan is a good thing, because its so vast and well planned it would be completely overwhelming – but having to do things without knowing why can be very stressful – but at times it is very rewarding too.People with Autism typically need set scheduales – which irritates my mom because she likes to call last minute about things and then I get upset. God typically tells you he wants you to do something right now, for what appears to be no reason. For example I went for a walk at 3:15 AM last week because God led me too and I ran into a group of kids throwing rocks at two homeless guys.
I accept that I will probably never fully understand God’s plan for me, because its just to vast – but with Aspergers its very difficult to do something without a tangible reason, but the more I just quit debating it and do it the more rewarding it becomes. A great example of faith is exhibited in Acts Chapter 9:10-16 when Ananias was told by God to go talk to Saul an individual that was responsible for the deaths of many Christians.
10 In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, “Ananias!”
“Yes, Lord,” he answered.
11 The Lord told him, “Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. 12 In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.”
13 ”Lord,” Ananias answered, “I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. 14 And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name.”
15 But the Lord said to Ananias, “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. 16 I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.”
If you don’t know biblical history Saul later became the apostle Paul after these actions, and the Apostle Paul wrote much of the new testament in the bible. So when I can’t see tangible reasons, and it causes fear I have to be reminded about how Ananias obeyed God and talked to a man responsible for killing hundreds of Christians in order to save Saul.
Do you or someone you know with Autism have trouble doing things without a tangible reason, or doing things you fear because you know its right?
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Zach- Thank you for sharing your story. I am the wife and mother of Aspies and I am thankful that they are both believers. Your experience has helped them both. It helps me to understand their perspective on their relationship with God. Thank you!
YES! I was going into the ministry once, felt the calling for sure, but backed out because I had faith for so long that he would provide for me a way to go to a college far away for seminary but never heard anything from Him and nothing ever happened. I gave up. It is sooooo confusing having this, which at the time I did not know i had it, and being a Christian. I take things to the extreme. Would and have sold posessions to follow Him. Tried to be perfect.