I’ve had some horrible crap happen to me in the last week, there were a lot of lies told about me, I’ve lost my fiance, my soon to be kid, and my dignity. Its was just too painful so I cut up both arms.As you may have read earlier, my ex was a cutter and I swore to myself I would never did something like that, but I did. To be honest it was just too painful to cope on my own. I don’t know why I did it, I don’t remember much about doing it all I remember is how good it felt to actually physically feel the pain – and then I started freaking out. I couldn’t stop myself and eventually after 2 hours by God’s grace I was discovered still cutting.
My arms are gashed up pretty baddly – the right more so then the left now, and now I can’t wear short sleave shirts in the 90+ degree weather. I have to say its nice to have some amazing friends who don’t ask anything about it unless I mention it. I have some amazing friends who are sticking by my side through all this – and sticking by the truth.
Why Did You?
I remember being so overwhelmed by all the lies that were being said about me, all the abuse that I took from my ex, and being scared everyone would believe her (which it appears thank God no one does). I remember being in so much pain, that my brain was overwhelmed by the pain and then it just started. I remember it felt good to feel the pain physically – so good I could not stop myself.
Do you think there is a connection between Aspergers Syndrome and Cutting?
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
I used to injure myself for various reasons in various ways, include cutting. I was unable to express myself in words and didn’t know how I felt, so when I felt especially bad I resorted to self-injury.
You should probably go see a therapists/psychiatrist or something. Sounds like you need professional help beyond your friends.
It also sounds like your girlfriend may have had moderate/severe borderline personality disorder (http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder-fact-sheet/index.shtml).
Shes no longer my girlfriend – thank God.
I am starting counseling next week.
I’ve never cut, though I do pick at my skin. What I do when I’m overwhelmed is eat food that I know will make me feel sick. I get painful cramps (sometimes I can’t stand up straight) and I bloat up when I eat too much starch. And dairy will also triggers symptoms. I know I’m damaging my gut, but at least it keeps me alive by distracting me for a while.
Comment removed due to harassing nature
We all cut… maybe at our friends, maybe family, maybe our livers.. feels good but does no good. Best to get a lawyer to really cut through the issue. That’s what I’m gonna have to do.