Abusive and Controlling

Frankly I have sat and watched someone I love be abused and controlled by someone who is so self-centered and self-righteous they will never admit they are wrong.  They put their own self interest, and the interest of their business before the interests of their child – as well as doing anything they can to destroy their child’s independence.Yes – I am talking about you Suzannne Higgs – owner of Hooked On Felt.  Yes I mentioned your name, and the name of the company you own.  I’m sorry that you don’t like the facts I have to say, and I’m sorry if it ruins your business (OK honestly, I’m not sorry if it does – it would be a good consequence for your actions.)  Last time I published your name Suzanne you whined about what if people Google your name or your business name – well this is not coming down – it contains well documented facts, and if you don’t like these facts you should of thought about that before you did the actions in these facts.

Here is one piece of truth, you scare the hell out of me.  Your a self-righteous, manipulative, control freak, liar.  I would rather have nothing to do with you, but the fact that I love your daughter – and she loves me and that we intend on marrying means I have to at least tolerate you, but I can tolerate you on the phone.  As far as I’m concerned and I told Katelyn this and shes in agreement with it – until you change your ways I will not be in the same room with you unless its for a court matter.  I’m scared your going to spread more lies about me and Katelyn further destroying our future – and the future of our unborn child.  I am also scared that your going to try and micro-manage everything in Katelyn and I’s relationship like you have tried to in the past.

I really hope you would be willing to change, get some counseling and quit being a control freak.  I know you don’t like the fact I support Katelyn being independent – you in fact hate me for it.  But the truth is Katelyn needs a supportive mother, a mother to be there for her at her wedding, when she gives birth, and all the other fun stuff in life.  Another fact is I have told Katelyn I don’t want you around our child until you change, and our child is going to need to know its grandparents.  Do I feel guilty saying our child can’t be around you?  Do I feel guilty saying I won’t be in the same room as you?  Simple answer – yes, but I also realize I cannot control your behaviors and I have to do what I can to keep me, and our child safe.  As of right now I feel your a huge threat to me – and Katelyn and I both feel your a huge threat to our child.

Here are some facts:

• According to the police report, you lied to them about being here “numerous times at the request of [Katelyn].”  You did not even know my address or where I lived until that day.
• According to the police report, you said you were going to get guardianship of Katelyn before you even talked to Katelyn about it – but you claim Katelyn asked you to get it.  Something Katelyn denies, and paperwork seems to indicate shes telling the truth.
• You told me on the phone you were going to offer to take Katelyn to the prosecutor’s office to clear up the lies she told about me.  Katelyn told me you never did offer to do that for her.
• In fact Katelyn claims you threatened her if she did tell the truth to the prosecutors office and the judges.
• You threatened to have Katelyn arrested for leaving your place asking for friends help because she can’t take your abuse, when you had no authority or power to have her arrested.
• You have made comments asking Katelyn “Do you want to be buried or cremated when you go back to Zach because hes going to kill you”, “Did you hear about the autistic kid who killed his brother” and “I hope you live long enough to regret your decision [to be with Zach]“
• You as Katelyn’s legal guardian who is required to provide Katelyn with housing kicked Katelyn out and told her she is not welcome back home because she spent the night away from you as she was scared.  When Katelyn told her lawyer your story changed really quick – too bad there are witnesses huh?
• You told Katelyn she would die if she got pregnant, causing her to have a panic attack and look at abortion.  When confronted with this you say “Would you rather tell your daughter shes to stupid to have kids or has a broken heart”, but then when quoted on that you claim doctors told you that she could never have kids.  Which one of your stories is the truth?
• You forced Katelyn to go to your OB office in order to further control Katelyn and this pregnancy – even though they do not offer the type of Natural Birth she wants, and you know it.
• Your using this guardianship to try and force Katelyn and I to break up, as well as put this child up for adoption.  You use excuses such as its the only way to get Katelyn on SSI, but we all know that’s bull crap as you wrote right on your application to get the guardianship that it was to keep Katelyn away from me and you can get SSI without guardianship.
• The only reason Katelyn would need SSI is because of your failures as a mother – you failed to get Kate on SSI, you pulled Katelyn from school not allowing her to have a high school diploma – Oh by the way I spent a lot of time helping Katelyn get her medical records to apply for SSI, and driving her but to school every day to get a diploma.
• You whine about how me stating the truth affects your business, but how about how your controlling and manipulation have effected the lives of others.  I spent nine days in jail, have a really screwed up future, as does Katelyn and your grand child – and as you told Katelyn what you think of that on the phone “I don’t care.”
• From what Katelyn tells me you have physically abused not only her, but her niece as well.
• You tell Katelyn about how much she makes you look like a horrible person by telling her friends the truth about you when seeking help.  Did you ever think that it is yourself making yourself look like a horrible person by doing those actions in the first place?
• You yell at Katelyn causing a scene outside a court room because she is seeking my help in fighting this guardianship.  You then tell me its not my place to help her as I’m not her guardian, her parent or her husband.
• When you make a mistake rather than admitting you were wrong and trying to fix it – like the guardianship you tell people your just going to put it in God’s hands because your too self righteous to fix your own mistakes – so you use God as a cop out.

Right now I feel you are a threat to our child, and when our child is born I do not want you near our child until you get counseling and change your ways.  I know this is going to hurt Katelyn, and believe me – it hurts me as well to have to draw this boundary, but the fact of the matter is you pose a significant danger to our child and our child now has to come first in our lives, not you – and not ourselves, and not our relationship either.

I have wrestled with wanting to sue you, get a personal protection order against you, and other forms of legal options but the fact of the matter is – I believe you can change, and pursuing these options would just add more crap to the situation.  However I will do what I must to protect our child if your actions require me too, and if that means pursuing legal options I will.

With that, I would like to say I feel your intentions with Katelyn are good – your actions are fueled out of love.  However your refusal to let go of Katelyn and need to control every facet of her life is no longer mothering and protective but abusive and harmful.  I’m not saying your intentions are bad, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  I also want to say I’m not enjoying the fact that I’m having to draw some boundaries to keep me and our child safe, nor am I enjoying the fact that I feel this needs to be published so people know the truth about your lies – but I also know I am not responsible for your actions, you are.

And now I would like to modify a quote from Star Trek as you and I are both Star Trek fans.  You know, I am really easy to get along with most of the time.  But I don’t like bullies, I don’t like threats, and right now I don’t like you Suzanne. The ball is in your court, and I know I am not responsible for your decisions.  However I will do what ever is necessary to protect myself and our child from your abuse.  Whatever Katelyn does to protect herself is up to her, and it seems to think she is sick of your abuse as she wrote about it herself on AspieWeb and her FAS blog.

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Tagged as: abusive, Disability, guardianship, mother