It is now over a month since the whole Kate drama began, the month I have nicknamed the month of hell.Kate is and always will be a very special girl to me, she filled a spot in my life that no one else could fill. She accepted me exactly as I was, loved me for who I really was and encouraged me to pursue my dreams. There’s a problem though, right now I can’t pursue my dreams, because my dream is her. Kate and I complimented each other very well, and together we surprised many people with how we grew as a couple. Right now I am missing my partner, my lover and my best friend – and I want her back.
I acknowledge I caused a lot of issues – I had sex before marriage, questioned how over-protective Kate’s parents were, and I got her pregnant all causing quite a circus for everyone. But right now my life is spinning like a trapeze artist spinning around on her bar high above the floor. I have no direction to go as I wait for Kate to make some decisions. I need to know does she want me back? Does she want to parent this child too? Does she know how hard it is for me to lay here alone, without her at my side?
Kate taught me one very important lesson, the need to communicate feelings. In thinking how I should communicate my feelings I choose to communicate them in a way that Kate often choose to communicate feelings – music.
But right now, all I can do is sit her by myself and pray – pray that God will fix this – that God will work in both of our hearts, that God will work on our friends, our families, and our child. I have learned one thing… absence makes the heart grow fonder of true love.
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