So I’m thinking about doing what is considered socially acceptable for a guy to do for a girl when he makes a mistake… send flowers. But this comes at a risk – Kate’s guardian has been demanding no contact, but I feel the need to say I’m sorry. I never really understood the concept of sending plants that will die to someone, such as roses or other cut plants so I’m thinking about sending a potted plant – something that still has life and can grow.
I really love Katelyn and I think the risk is acceptable – whats the worst Kate’s guardian can do? If she calls the police there going to most likely laugh, and in any normal relationship this is what a guy would do. I have tried to treat Katelyn as normal as possible even taking her to the bar on her 21st Birthday (the same day she was appointed a guardian) so we could get our groove on and enjoy Virgin Bloody Marrys – which are quite good by the way.
But I need some input on this one, I’m a bit hesitant and scared. Should I send flowers or not?
By the way, I would like to say Hello to Kate’s guardian and case manager who I see read this website several times a week. You guys can feel free to comment as well.
Also I have been trying poetry to express my feelings – the poems can be viewed on my personal webpage.
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Just send flowers with an unsigned note that says
“Sorry”
and
“I’ll be here when you need me”.
Leave it at that.
thats a good idea
“…I really love Katelyn and I think the risk is acceptable – whats the worst Kate’s guardian can do?”
Get a restraining order?
“If she calls the police there going to most likely laugh, and in any normal relationship this is what a guy would do…”
In any normal relationship in which the woman doesn’t have custody of herself and her guardian has told the man to back off?
You can’t get a restraining order because someone sent someone flowers. A deputy sheriff that is familiar with Kate and I’s situation told me that if she was called because I sent Kate flowers she would pissed as its a waste of her time.
I would do it through someone. Why not have her dad deliver the flowers to her. THen technically it is not contact, and there is nothing then that the guardian could do about it.
There ain’t crap the guardian could really do anyway. I just don’t want to “rock the boat.”
Also with her father’s recent lies, I don’t really know if I trust him.
Why what happened? Ok, that’s probably not my buisness but still. I am sorry.
*hug*
I’m trying to not be as public about my struggles with Katelyn’s family as I don’t want to hurt Katelyn.
Um, isn’t demanding no contact a bit manipulative?
Has she formally asked for no contact? If not, isn’t the guardian kinda overstepping his/her bounds?
Kate has not asked for ‘no contact’. Her guardian however is demanding it.
So that is where I get confused. How does someone’s guardian get to chose who she talks to? I understand she can’t sign contracts or whatnot. But phone calls?
I don’t understand it either
I was just doing a bit of googling about Michigan’s guardianship laws and came up with this:
http://courts.co.calhoun.mi.us/book037a.htm#TABLE%20OF%20CONTENTS
I skimmed through, so could have missed something, but I was looking for something that might state or imply that a guardian may deny the client’s access to someone the client may wish to communicate with. I could have missed something, but I didn’t find anything that would indicate that it would be within the guardian’s scope of authority.
In fact, I did pay attention to the ‘marriage and divorce’ section. While someone under the care of a guardian was at one point not allowed to marry, that statute was repealed and the guardian must petition the court for authority to prevent marriage.
So unless Kate’s guardian has petitioned the court for said authority, it seems like it would stand to reason that she couldn’t be barred from contact with her fiance. It does leave me kind of scratching my head.
The other question is whether I want to risk “rocking the boat” with Kate’s guardian. She can decide that Kate will not be allowed to live with me.
That is true.
Just curious (and if you’d rather not answer that’s fine, I don’t want to pry), is the guardianship supposed to be a permanent thing for Kate?
If the goal is for Katelyn to one day be independent and her own guardian, then presumably you would only have to worry about boat rocking while the guardianship is in effect.
The goal is always for a person to be independent.
Hmm, I seem to be sounding like a broken record. Sorry about that.
So they say anyway, but guardianship is very hard to repeal. Trust me, I’ve discussed this with laywers for when my consumers have questions about it. Not that it’s impossible, but it is a very hard process to get it repealed. The key would be a very good lawyer! Unless there were stipulations put in place for the guardianship to fade out that is. Or if it’s only a parital guardianship.
I’m not telling you or Kate that it’s impossible, I imagine it can be done. I’m just preparing you for the right pain in the ass it is going to be. And court lawyers are notorious for airing all your dirty laundry if her state appointed guardian chooses to fight against her regaining guardianship over herself. It’s a sticky situaction. I would talk to your P&A about it.
I would also ask what rights a state appointed guardian has, and how much authority do they have legally. That would be a great help to you. If the guardian starts threatening, you could call his/her bluff that way. And perhaps it’s just me, but I always find that immensly satisfying…… Probably one of the reasons some think I’m cold blooded, lol.
I hope this helps. I’m sorry for the cynicism, but not all is bad. Airing dirty laundry can go both ways, and if this guardian has taken upon his/herself more authority over his/her charge than is given to them legally, well, they are SOL.
*hug*